Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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