Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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