I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
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