I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Oh god it's open bar.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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