Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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