I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
