But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
