Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
