i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
