That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
