so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
should my penis look like a turkey
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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