it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
