Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
