The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
