I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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