ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
