I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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