He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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