Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
