i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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