I look better un-naked...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
