Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
