hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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