How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
