Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
he laminated a picture of his dick.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm both gender and math confused
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
