i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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