we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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