Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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