Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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