im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
