I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
