Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
