Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize