Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
