Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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