She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
