Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
