Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
