then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
