"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
