So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
he puts the penis in happiness.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
