4 words: hood of his car
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
