he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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