He told me they were just razor bumps!
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
