So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
