I'm lost and stupid without you.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
