listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
