I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
