Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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