I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
