They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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