I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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