u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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