well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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