If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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