i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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