Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
