Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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