I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
