Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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