dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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