who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
