the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I deserve this hangover.
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