Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
