I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
