There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
PANTIES FOUND
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
