hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
