why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize