Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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